Beastie Boys - Sabotage

empilhamento de comida em animais

secas do dia... Especial Natal

Porque Pai Natal não vai á Somália?
- Porque, na última vez que ele foi, comeram uma rena.



- Ó Pai Natal! Róis as unhas?
- Rou Rou Rou!!!




Qual é a diferença entre o homem das neves e a mulher das neves?
As bolas de neve...



A mãe pergunta à filha de cinco anos:
- O que queres para o Natal?
- Um preservativo.
- Um preservativo???
- É que eu já tenho cinco bonecas e não quero ter mais nenhuma!

dog does not realize there is no glass in the door

Prendas...

o outro lado...

o rambo e o pai natal...

chegou finalmente o meu presente....

a técnica....

ha?????? que lingua é esta??

I've been alone with you
Inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips
A thousand times
I sometimes see you
Passing outside my door
Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
Because you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again
How mcuh I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello!
I've just got to let you know
Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let start by saying I love you

Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
Becuase I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let start by saying I love you

Feliz Natal

rapidinhas....

Mamãe, mamãe… o leiteiro chegou. Tem dinheiro para pagar ou eu tenho que ir brincar lá fora???

- Mamãe, mamãe… porque estamos empurrando o carro até o precipício?
- Fique quieto senão vai acordar seu pai…

- Mamãe, mamãe… o que é um orgasmo?
- Não sei querido, pergunte pro seu pai.

- Mamãe, mamãe… na escola me chamaram de mafioso.
- Amanhã mesmo vou resolver isso meu filho…
- Bem… mas faça tudo parecer um acidente, mamãe…

- Mamãe, mamãe… eu não quero conhecer meu avô…
- Cale-se e continue cavando.

- Mamãe, mamãe… uma menina de 8 anos pode engravidar???
- Ai… claro que não….
- Yupi…Yupiii…

- Mamãe, mamãe… deixei as drogas…
- Graças à Deus!
- Sim… mas não me lembro aonde.

- Mamãe, mamãe… me leva no circo???
- Não, filho… Se querem te ver, que venham aqui em casa..

- Mamãe, mamãe… no colégio um menino me chamou de mariquinha…
- E porque você não bate nele???
- Aii, é que ele é tão lindo…

- Mamãe, mamãe… eu já tenho 13 anos, me compra um sutiã??
- Não.
- Vamos Mamãe… compra um sutiã pra mim…
- Eu já te disse NÃO !!!
- Mas mamãe, eu já tenho 13 anos…
- Não me amole , Artur…

- Mamãe, mamãe… por que a noiva esta vestida de branco?
- Porque é o momento mais feliz de sua vida.
- Ah.. … e por que o noivo esta vestido de preto?
- Cala a boca!

- Mamãe, mamãe… na escola me chamaram de dentuço….
- Não lhes dê bola, Marcos… e feche a boca que está riscando o chão.

The dawn is breaking...
A light shining through...
You're barely waking...
And I'm tangled up in you.

I'm open, you're closed.
Where I'll follow you'll go.
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again.

Even the best fall down sometimes.
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme.
Out of the doubt that fills my mind,
I somehow found you and I collide.

I'm quiet, you know,
You make a first impression.
I've found I’m scared to know,
I'm always on your mind.

Even the best fall down sometimes.
Even the stars refuse to shine.
Out of the back you fall in time
Somehow find you and I collide...

Don't stop here...
I lost my place...
I'm close behind...

Even the best fall down sometimes.
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme.
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide.

Pizza Delivery Fail

You gotta be crazy, you gotta have a real need.
You gotta sleep on your toes, and when you're on the street,
you gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed.
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight,
you gotta strike when the moment is right, without thinking.

And after a while you can work on points for style,
like the club tie and the firm handshake,
a certain look in the eye and an easy smile.
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
so that when thy turn their backs on you,
you'll get the chance to put the knife in.

You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder.
You know it's going to get harder, and harder and harder as you get older.
And in the end you'll pack up and fly down south,
hide your head in the sand,
just another sad old man,
all alone and dying of cancer.

And when you loose control, you'll reap the harvest you have sown.
And as the fear grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone.
And it's too late to loose the weight you used to need to throw around.
So have a good drown as you go down, alone,
dragged down by the stone.

I gotta admit that I'm a little bit confused.
Sometimes it seems to me as if I'm just being used.
Gotta stay awake, gotta try and shake off this creeping malaise.
If I don't stand my own ground, how can I find my own way out of this maze?

Deaf, dumb and blind, you just keep on pretending
that everyone's expendable and no-one has a real friend.
And it seems to you the thing to do would be to isolate the winner.
And everything's done under the sun,
and you believe a heart, everyone's a killer.

Who was born in a house full of pain,
who was trained not to spit in the fan,
who was told what to do by the man,
who was broken by trained personnel,
Who was fotted with collar and chain,
who was given a seat in the stand,
who was breaking away from the pack,
who was only a stranger at home,
who was ground down in the end,
who was found dead on the phone,
who was dragged down by the stone.